The other night the family went out for milkshakes and tea. Before heading to a coffeeshop, we passed by a close-by Seven-Eleven because I had promised Alexa gummy worms (Yep! I’m the parent that occasionally lets my daughter eat candy. Guilty as charged.)
We walked into the store and in her excitement, Alexa started scurrying around the aisles looking for her long lost treasure, unintentionally knocking over a few contents on the shelves. Exhausted and a little cranky, I pull Alexa by the arm and recklessly blurt out: “Stop it. You’re embarrassing me.”
It didn’t take long for the Holy Spirit to pull me by the heart. I knew that very moment that in that situation, the problem was not my daughter. The problem was me.
How often do we, as parents, mentors, Victory Group Leaders, bosses or friends come into a confrontation thinking about our reputation, our opinion or our situation? We rebuke and correct with the stance of how a certain decision or situation affects us rather than how it affects the people we’re trying to help.
How often do we, as parents, mentors, Victory Group Leaders, bosses or friends come into a confrontation thinking about our reputation, our opinion or our situation?
So much of parenting and so much of leadership development is tough because truth be told, we will get embarrassed on a regular basis. If you’re not ready to stain your reputation or to admit fault that you may not feel is yours then chances are you aren’t fit for leadership yet. When we act out of defence to our position, our title or our image, we will find ourselves losing battles more often than we would want to.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve been embarrassed by the mistakes that my staff, Victory Group members, leaders, wife, daughter and I myself have made. Most of the mistakes are actually mine even though I might shift the blame initially just to admit later on that I was wrong. But all those mistakes and embarrassing moments are actually blessings because it’s in those moments that our true value is measured.
If we value others before us, we will automatically act first to protect, correct, develop and restore. But if we value our position and title before others, we will unconsciously attack and malign others in defence of our reputation and pride. What matters more to you right now?
If we value others before us, we will automatically act first to protect, correct, develop and restore.
I thank God that He never valued His reputation above us. If He did, we’d all be far from gone now. I am thankful for Jesus whom Philippians 2:6 says, “…though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped.”
Our Heavenly Father does not berate us when we knock off some candy bars on the shelf thinking first of His embarrassment. 1 John 3:1 tells us, “See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are!” God does not think you are an embarrassment. He looks at you and sees sons and daughters because now Jesus has replaced your sin with His inheritance and your shame with His righteousness.
When you see your children, mentees, employees or leaders, what do you see?